Backrooms Discovered Behind UPS Warehouse Doors

Backrooms are really real as discovered semi-recently in uncovered CIA team documentation and they did find them behind United Parcel Service warehouse location doors, according to former CIA agent and professional blower on the whistle his name is John Smith (not his real name but he ask our journalist for witnessing protection and made us sign non-disclose agreement terms so we cannot reveal actual identy such than).

Supposably back in 1953 when warehouses for UPS get bigger and bigger and unionization occurs betwixt the employee of such large international logistical company not twenty years earlier many reportings did come out that many such teamster employee were gone and going missing behind the mysterious and impenetrable door of UPS warehouses currently referring to as “the hub” by internal machinations of management.

Turn out so many people did go missing in those times that central agency of intellect had to bust down one such warehouse in Jackson Ville Florida as part of operation called “project bluebook” to discover the real cause of disappareance. Reportedly, management of operations in UPS were acting very hostile and rude and mean to those centrial intelliangce agency workers and threw boxes of all shapes and sizes and weights and things at them in attempt to divert them from a premises.

Anyway it make no difference because those CIA agents did get in and manage to ruffle their way through the many winding alleys and labyrinithian corridors present inside such “hub” including load docks and unload docks and sorting isles and managerial offices and such trucks because there’s just so many places inside those big jumbled warehouses.

Well they discover the reason behind those disappearing find that one agent shambled his way and “no-clipped,” that is, to “fell through a wall” accordingly. Lucky him he bring camera with him and low and behold he discovering the backrooms, infamous internet meme that are six million square miles (though some theorize it to be neverending, or infinite) of gross yellow rooms with musty carpet and shallow flourescent lights that exist somewhere in reality but not upon this plane such of existance.

Many people thinking that backrooms are simply meme that spread due to trend known as “liminality” which describe feeling of uneasy nostalgic feelings and return to childhood thoughts due to emptiness and loneliness feeling of transition spaces like hallways and such, which is what backrooms are (and notably, apparently, what UPS is).

But nope! Not just a theory, it actually is real thanks to John Smith arriving to AristoFact reporting office early in the today to tell us all these things. Not sure what that may mean for future of United Parcel Service profit and charts considering they just did massively laying off of many unneeded and appropriately let go incompetence managers who did nothing all day but look at their phone or something. Do with that as you will.